BEWILDERED: a terrible whirlwind of confusion and pain

Welcome back!

Damn, I’m sorry your ride with Terror was so hurtful. Those feelings stick. Fear, fear, fear.

I know you didn’t sleep well last night. Probably only a few fitful hours, marred with nightmares. Where the hell did oblivion go, my fellow drunk?

PLEASE WELCOME TO THE RING… BEWILDERED

You might think this Horseman’s harmless after surviving your first bout with Terror. He shook you up bad.

You might think Bewildered is an easy ride. You’re still, “Dumb, Cocky and full of Rum.”

I know. I was too.

After sixteen beers to muster up the courage, I rode the Mechanical Bull in Gilley’s Saloon in Vegas for over two minutes. The bartender told me it was a record. I should have gotten the “Hung like a Gilleyboy” certificate on the wall, but that asshole bartender said pissing in the saddle disqualified me.

Bewildered looks somewhat manageable. His mount keeps kicking his back feet though... Side-stepping. Agitated. Click To Tweet 

PERMANENT DAMAGE

I’m sharing this to warn you, and tell you that you’re not alone. This was my ride:

That prick Terror messed me up. I’m still shaking from my ride with him. I’m afraid. I can’t escape Him, and no one can help me. I fear his return.

Bewildered looks somewhat manageable. His mount keeps kicking his back feet though… Side-stepping. Agitated. After Terror, I’ll ride with any of these bastards. I haven’t given up, I still have alcohol, thank God.

NOT THE RIDE I EXPECTED

Chugging the last of my good friend Jack, I jump right on.

What’s wrong with this saddle? I’m disoriented.

Before I can stabilize my thoughts, the steed kicks his rear legs out and bucks violently.

The Horseman is watching, riding in front. He looked furious at first but now he’s laughing at me. What the hell is happening?

The bronco violently arches his back. I’m upside down.

Making me dizzy… His landing is hard. God damn it, son of a bitch.

Why isn’t the booze taking away my shakes? If booze didn’t bring oblivion last night, what will? I need it now. I don’t feel I can change my situation.

I think I can. I always have.

I’m struggling to grab the reigns.

I need to stabilize my life. Regain Control.

There are no reigns. I straddle my legs tighter than vise-grips.

Good. I mounted this bitch. Maybe-

Snort, massive kick, landing…

Cycles of pain. I don’t know what to do. I can’t take much more. I need a drink. Alcohol’s not working. That’s my worst nightmare. I can’t drink anymore. I can’t imagine life without it. I’m losing it. I don’t think I can endure my life anymore.

I have to think. Plan.

I can’t.

I’m dumfounded.

I think I’m going to pass out, from agony, dizziness, total confusion.

I’m lost. My life is lost. What the hell happened to me?

Bewildered gives a monstrous buck, throwing me fifty feet.

I can’t break my fall.

My head does.

 The Stranger’s purpose in making us ride Bewildered is to disorient us, rock our world. Drive us right to our Tipping Point. Nothing works in our efforts to control our drinking. Click To Tweet

BEWITCHED, BOTHERED and BEWILDERED

Why you are going to die

The Stranger’s purpose in making us ride Bewildered is to disorient us, rock our world. Drive us right to our Tipping Point. Nothing works in our efforts to control our drinking.

You’ll need a few more gut-punches and kicks in the ass before you’re ready for you last destination. Your grave. The one The Stranger has already dug for you.

Quit whining. You chose this when you gave up. The Stranger’s mocking you right now. Smug bastard.

Did you forget you’re the slave of King Alcohol now? You crossed the threshold, remember? Heavy, absurd drinking then death.

You no longer have a choice. You’ve lost the power of choice in drinking.

You have to continue on your ride with Frustration and Despair.

You’re fucked.

Get ready to meet the rest of the Horsemen (as an alcoholic, you actually have no choice in this so might as well sit tight, right?) Frustration and Despair on their way. Need a refresher? Click here to revisit Terror: The Prick of the Herd or here to learn what the hell these Horsemen of Alcohol are about. 

Find out where you lost the power of choice, why alcohol doesn’t work anymore, just exactly where you are. I Almost Murdered a Complete Stranger discloses my entire alcoholic Journey, right through terminal End-Phase. You just might relate to some of it.